A THING OR TWO ABOUT ME (MUSINGS)
By Dortell Williams
(Approximately 2300 words)

I feel for people less fortunate than I, such as those with HIV/AIDS, the so-called handicapped, substance addicts and the homeless, to name a few. I am particularly sensitive to victims of crime, aren’t we all in one form or another? I don’t believe in being “politically correct” if that entails calling black and white other black and white or being less than honest or sincere. I have always been tactful, respectful and polite. To compromise truth for placation is immoral in my eyes. I miss my sweet and dear late.

The beach is my favorite spot in the world, besides various islands, known or unknown to me. To clarify the latter: curiosity is a catalyst for me. The unknown is mysterious and colorful, pristine beauty of the playa atmosphere allures me. I also love fish and the world of water. I think tropical anything and exotic and I enjoy all water activities.

I encourage women in sports, if that is their desire. I can be a perfectionist, although I can settle for simple organization and efficiency. I like eating fish and especially sea food. I believe in adoption and wish we had more. I despise divorce and wish we had less.

My favorite singer- or at least one of them – is Anita Baker. My favorite fruit is cantaloupe, though cherries, grapes and other finger-tip fruits arouse my appetite.

I adore women who know how to carry their femininity. I like the Road Runner and Tasmanian Devil, along with other Looney Tunes animated characters. I enjoy viewing cartoons with the children and hate the new format that last hours at a time. Four of five minutes each of Bugs Bunny and Friends laden with classical music in the background was clever enough for me. I believe strongly in education. I am in love with the animated queen Jessica Rabbit. I believe the female mind is equal to that of a male.

I respect and enjoy the fables Aesop and the stories of Dr. Seuss. I am extremely proud to be Black. I love the different color hues of my people and the strength we have exhibited in the midst of so much adversity. African and African American history is over flowing with drama. I relish Jazz (progressive and contemporary) and appreciate the array of founding artists such as Coltrane, “The Duke”, and many others. I also like Reggae, Gospel, Maringae, Calypso, and can appreciate any other type music save for vocal opera and heavy metal.

I don’t approve of hitting women and abhor abuse by the strong. As I experience incarceration and such limitation, I can relate and empathize with those who are oppressed, in pain, disadvantaged and deprived. I thank Jah ( the poetic form of God or Yahweh, Psalm 68:4) for the valleys and peaks of life, as I journey on.

I like large and small scale models and remote control cars and vehicles. I like kites and anything to do with the outdoors, i.e. mountains, forests, lakes, lagoons. I like all types of art except for obscenities and disguised as art. I like soccer on the beach, jogging on the beach and similar physical challenges. The mere aroma of the beach: the sand, the moisture’s waft, and the aqua-marine scent of paradise-like milieu just makes my hair stand in arousal.

I am affectionate and enjoy expressing those feelings to my intimate mate. I have an extremely passionate side that I am proud of. I am a “kid at heart” and love children – they are a gift from God. I do possess a serious side when it comes to making things happen and taking care of business; being responsible. I believe in growth and accomplishment –contribution. I am a positive person with a cheerful disposition. I absolutely adore my beloved daughter.

Learning simply fascinates me. I am a humble person by nature, but certainly can be provoked to roar up. I am an honest and straight-up person, at all times to my detriment. When I fall in love…I…fall…in…love. That has served as both a blessing and a curse. Yet I will never let the sour side of the experience ruin the beautiful utopia that true love holds for me in the future. I am a fighter and not easily won over by circumstances.

I love the rain as well as the sun, equally. I deeply appreciate nature and the work of Jah’s hands…I marvel at it! I like all sports-the competition of it. My favorite contact sports are: boxing, basketball, soccer and football.

I love the Spanish language and am enraptured by Anglo, Arab Asian and African accents spoken in English. I bask in writing and reading. The Bible is a favorite and most interesting book to me, I have read the Quran, The Torah, books on Hare Krishna, L.R. Hubbard’s and others. I like writing short stories, commentaries, poems, prose and letters to friends and family. My favorite type of letters are those I write to my soul mate: Sensual, flirtatious, and appreciative. I love all people- although they test me at times. I hate ignorance and the pain, pangs and poverty it brings.

I despise racism in any flavor. I think America is a selfish, opportunistic, hypocritical, and wasteful nation. I love America for its educational and entrepreneurial opportunities. I love America for its rich cultural diversity. I believe in family, unity and caring for others. Learning about other cultures and seeing how much we really are just people with only language and nationalistic attitudes to separate us. Meeting other people of other nationalities makes me feel closer to humanity.

I love diamonds as a favorite commodity, although I am aware that they are a man made and manipulated rarity controlled primarily by a few European brothers surnamed DeBeers. The marquise is my favorite cut. I like soul, Chinese, and Latin food. Sushi is another dish that I like to experiment with. I love to cook and bask in experimenting in the kitchen.

My favorite color is purple and it’s alluring cousins, ie. lilac, lavender, violet etc. Purple gives hope as I hate the red and blue wars of my young brothers (Bloods and Crips). When the two colors are united they make purple. It makes for a symbol of unity and it has a very antiques and royal history. I also like tropical colors and earth tones: turquoise, Tanzanian blue, forest green…

I relish the feelings and motivations of love, Floating aloft in the drift of an amorous breeze opens my emotional world of expression within, and cause a unique creativity to flow out with no labor involved: smooth, natural, incessant, and flowing.

Romance, whether in giving or receiving, thrills my heart. I live for it. I am generally calm, cool, and collected. I am often told that. I am also told that I have a reserved spirit. Few know that it is heightened by this prison (public) environment. I am proud and private. Yet I do possess an adventurous side. I believe there is a time and place for everything. I believe in family and friends over money and materials.

I like being different. I am far from a follower. I appreciate and respect truth. I admire people working together and the Olympics is a good example of what people can do despite language and hue differences. I am enchanted by the sincerity of the children and long for five (5) more of my own. I love both sons and daughters, equally. I hate racism.

I am enchanted by femininity expressed well. Body language is a favorite study of mine, although mine is at times awkward and funny. I am a bit old-fashioned and believe subtle, respectful, and patience ways of the past were more promising and less destructive than those of this day.

I do not judge. I have a knack for noticing the idiosyncrasies of others. I am a stickler for details. I like people to be themselves around me, whether I agree or disagree with their way. I am turned off by people who try to impress me or be other than themselves. It is pretentious. I like people who tell it like it is. I don’t always like what is being said, but do like being able to trust that person’s sincerity.

Favorite stones of mine are opal, onyx, and of course, amethyst. I love the smell of fresh coffee and like diverse exotic flavors, but borderline hypertension limits my intake. Experimenting with the various flavors of tea is also fulfilling to me. I like trying new things and really like living life to the fullest.

I would like to learn to fly a plane and a helicopter; play key boards and ski. I am thrilled by the Tom Cat F-series planes and the technology of the day excites me. I like miniatures: scale models, towns, people, bridges, boats, ships, and trains. I like alcoholic beverages and the various tastes and ways one can experiment, but think drunkenness is silly. How can one really enjoy himself out of his right mind? And how worthy can fun be when one can’t remember? I like the perfect practical advice of the Bible. I respect authority and hate unfinished projects.

I get real irritated when people consistently cut me off in conversation. We all do it, I know, but it’s only bothersome when it’s consistent. I get short when hungry, unless I am fasting. I have a very brief attention span if I don’t get my six hours rest the night prior. I need “space” when going through trials or changes in my life, or when I just get in from work- just a quarter-hour, or so, in my mental cave is usually sufficient. I am the type who needs time to re-group because I habitually analyze everything.

I enjoy reading. I read everything I can get my hands on, in spite of the challenges of confinement. Many people say that I am smart. But I simply read and absorb the contents of the literature I take in. I have a vast array of cognitive knowledge because I read. It gives me the ability to assimilate other people’s ideas, experiences and knowledge into my own. I think I can be rather slow, actually.

I can be stubborn and have been known to rebel in my youth. But these are traits I try to fetter because they offend Jah and others. For the most part I am humble, at times to my own embarrassment; people just don’t understand the motivations of sincerity or love. I like peace and getting along. I am much more productive in such an environment and I live to produce. I view mist things of this life vanity and too small to trip on anyway. I am very devoted. I absolutely hate oppression.

I find it extremely hard to get bored in this life. There are just too many beautiful things that Jah had made here that I know little or nothing about to get bored. I like being creative in things I have interest in, such as cooking, romancing my lover, recreation, and playing with children. I am touched by people showing affection toward one another.

I have been told many things about me. I have been told I am quiet. I have been described as a peace maker, humble, and even handsome.

I have been called various called names such as Still Will, causing me to assume it is in reference to my quiet nature. Others have written it “Steal Will” in compliment to my patience. Family members, and some friends have called me “Pretty Boy” or “Baby Boy” (youthful appearances run in my family). Latinos sometimes call me “Negro Bonito”, which is a compliment. In my youth I was called “Crazy D” due to my daring spirit. My dad used to call me “Dort” which is short for Dortell, my middle name. I hated when he called me that. It made me hate my entire middle name. However, in my maturity, I have come to appreciate the name Dortell, which I am told is French. I now go by my middle name because it is so much more unique than my very common first and last names abound.

I love the old Sinbad the Sailor movies, as well as Phillis Diller and Lucy. I like the black and white movie era and how those of that period focused on talented, captivating writing rather than gratuitous sex, violence, and special effects. I am deeply entertained by Laurel and Hardy and antics of the Little Rascals. I think television is too graphic these days and artistic and creative value, in many value, in many ways, has been diluted. I have a real problem with vain and empty promises. I believe most of us need to learn to be more responsible for what we say to others; mean what you say and say what you mean, advise the sages. I hate stereotyping and generalizing others. I think it is…well, ignorant.

People and especially our trusted friends are one of the three mirrors in life. The other two are the Bible, which tells and shows our nature. The last is the physical mirror, which reflects our appearance.

Jah, is my strength and victory and I am happy that He is in my life. With that I will I conclude, though there is so much more I could add. I have written this verbal introspection over a sporadic span of five months. Every time I would think of something new to add I’d just jot it down until finally I had this compilation. Any comments or feedback is welcome. O value the ideas, views, and opinions of others.


1996/1997

Note: Though this entry is over ten years old, I am pretty much the same person, only matured.